truth is, i was lonely without you
by Xephonia
Summary: Kaito was lonely, then he gained a friend. Now he's lonely again, but...?


No card, no body.

When a person loses to Academia, one of these things is usually found, sooner or later.

Maybe torn up, maybe barely recognizable, but definitely existent.

This time, it's different and Kaito is between hope and despair, a strange space in-between that keeps him going when he's long broken, when he can barely feel himself breathing and he just wants to rest.

(He can't rest anymore.)

In his dreams, he sees red eyes and black and pink hair and a smile that could replace the sun, a nice voice calling him to duel and have fun.

Kaito is not an entertainer; never was.

Entertaining is vain to him. It's like playing by yourself and catering to people you don't know or care about, for meaningless validation.

He wants to make Haruto happy, wants to make his friends happy, even; but not a crowd of people who abandon those they supported in a heartbeat when something more interesting comes up.

Entertaining is a having lonely life.

That's why when Yuuma told him to be himself— that's it's okay he only smiles when he feels like doing so, that he doesn't have to agree with what Sakaki Yuushou says, that it's fine to think about himself— Kaito was happy.

(He never told Yuuma he felt that way. Yuuma smiled anyway, and Kaito wonders if he knew.)

Yuuma was Kaito's best friend.

Yuuma is gone now.

Haruto left a card behind when he disappeared; a card that Kaito always carries, no matter where he goes.

Yuuma left nothing behind, and it's as if he and that smile never existed.

(Maybe Kaito just dreamed him up.)

* * *

Carding Academia students is like being in a trance.

"Do you know Tsukumo Yuuma?" — "Never heard of him. I bet our comrades carded him like the rest of you Xyz scu—" — "Are you ready for your repentance?"

The same words, over and over, with no result. Kaito has looked everywhere.

Yuuma's house is destroyed.

Yuuma is not there.

Not a trace of his existence.

"Kaito!"

Kaito snaps out of the trance, unused to hearing his name.

Red eyes.

Green and red hair.

The eyes don't sparkle.

Not Yuuma.

"I just want to understand you."

The boy is lying, Kaito knows; only Yuuma would understand.

(Kaito wants to be understood.)

But they're strangers, and Kaito fights them.

And then he runs.

Kaito can't stop thinking of red eyes and he's tired.

Shun is fine, now. Yuuto is gone but Yuuya is there and Shun likes him.

Kaito doesn't know why.

 _Maybe it's easier to let go; maybe it's easier to go along with this lie._

But what would Yuuma do?

 _Kattobingu._

* * *

His old house.

It's essentially a ruin, but the lab below is still as if the invasion never happened, as if Yuuma and Haruto were about to come in to prevent him from doing his work, to play Duel Monsters.

It's not like that, of course.

Kaito checks the map; there's no sign of Academia students nearby, and he reaches into a drawer to get some caramel, but instead—

Metal. A tiny, metal object, one that will always be familiar.

His D-Gazer.

A gift from Yuuma.

People barely use D-Gazers nowadays, anymore, but Yuuma insisted that it could be their secret means of communication and that Haruto should have one, too.

Kaito didn't get why, but the childish glee in Yuuma's eyes had made him happy.

And now that it's here, right in his hand, Kaito feels like it's silly to even hope that there's any message, but—

"Kattobingu."

He checks his inbox.

[1 message from Yuuma | 4 hours ago]

Kaito stops breathing for a bit.

"Yuuma?"

He checks the message; it's a video, and he opens it up.

It's Yuuma. Yuuma, real and breathing and alive and with a Resistance bandana at the same spot as Kaito's own, smiling at the camera.

Behind him is the destruction that Kaito is so used to, but Kaito has no eyes for that right now.

Yuuma is alive.

"Hey, Kaito! If you see this, uhm..." Yuuma rubs his neck. "It took me a while to find my D-Gazer, it got buried under the rubble. But, I got it now, and if you're around— Let's meet up! I got kinda lost, so—" The camera turns away from Yuuma and shows buildings that Kaito knows; they're at the very edge of the city and Yuuma's sense of direction is still a mess. "—it might take a while, but I'll kattobing my way out of here! I should probably get going, see you later!"

Kaito's mouth is open and he stares at his D-Gazer.

(A tear rolls down his cheek.)

He shakily dials Yuuma's number.

Moments pass.

One...

Two...

Three...

"Kaito?!"

"I'll come pick you up, just wait."

Kaito knows he isn't alone anymore.


End file.
